Positive Results by Sabrina

What does it mean to you to show up for yourself? Do you show up for yourself as well as you show up for others? 

One of my favorite hashtags is “keep the promises you make to yourself”. I got it from an author and podcastor that I used to follow. She liked a mantra similar to, “Bosses don’t cancel”, and it has always stuck with me. We often make appointments with other people that we would never imagine canceling or rescheduling due to a minor inconvenience. If you have a doctor’s appointment, you don’t cancel just because you’re comfortable on the couch and don’t feel like getting up.  You don’t cancel on friends because you’ve had a rough day at work and don’t really feel like attending their birthday party or listening to what they’re going through when they call you for support. But you cancel on yourself all the time. 

You planned to meet a friend at the gym today but their plans changed so you went home to catch up on your shows instead of hitting the gym solo because you didn’t feel motivated anymore. You were supposed to go by the store today to meal prep, but you’re tired, so you put it off a few more days and eat whatever you have left in the cupboard. Your gym session, workout, healthy dinner, nail appointment, alone time, are optional to you. If you suddenly don’t feel like doing it, you won’t. 

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

This is why they say dedication is more important than motivation. You are not always going to be motivated to do the things you need to do. You have to be dedicated to doing what needs to be done. If you deal with any type of depression or mood instability, motivation often follows the action, it does not precede it.  You will often find that once you start moving, cleaning, etc, you’re more inclined to keep going or even do more than you originally planned. You’ve gotten the ball rolling and now it’s picking up momentum and will continue to move. (This is one of the reasons a minimum baseline is so important in terms of exercise. If you can get moving and achieve that minimum 15 minutes, half of a mile, etc, you will often find that the endorphins have started to kick in and you’re now motivated to keep going.)

When you are as dedicated to yourself as you are to your friends, you will show up in the hard times as well as you show up in the good times. Many people benefit from schedules for this reason. For athletes, this is why training plans are important when you have a race or big goal to look forward to. For busy professionals, this is why calendars and to-do lists are important. When you schedule and prioritize the things that are important to you, you’re more likely to get them done. When you have specific goals and desires in mind, it’s easier to prioritize the important things and not leave each day to the whim of your emotions and life. Life is going to continue to happen everyday. Some items have to remain flexible and some items, like brushing your teeth, are non-negotiable. What other items are you dedicated to making non-negotiable this week?

Previously, I have talked about the value I receive from working out with other people. Multiple friends and I have agreed that we would not have made the early morning show up times for a workout had we not committed to showing up for each other. This is a huge blessing to have and I do not take it for granted. When we have friends that motivate us to schedule things that may be outside of our normal routines, to show up in new places and in new ways, they are helping us grow and foster the dedication we have to ourselves. No one can truly show up for you. Your body and your life are your own. Your circle can support you; they can guide you, teach you, and cheer for you, but at the end of the day, it’s really only your life. 

You are responsible for the inputs and outputs of your mind, body and spirit. If you feel like you are currently fostering the life that allows you to be dedicated to pursuing your goals, then you should feel very proud. If you currently feel like you are constantly drained, exhausted and needing more, then I encourage you to look around and see what you can change. Where can you show up better for yourself? Where do you need to make improvements to your social, emotional and physical influences? Have you been living in survival mode for so long that you don’t even remember what it’s like to happily pursue a new goal or adventure? Have you been more focused on supporting and showing up for those around you and now you don’t even remember what it’s like to show up for yourself?