Positive Results by Sabrina

What does it mean for you to show up for your friends?

What does it mean to be brave enough to ask your friends for support?

Who do you become after you watch a friend conquer her fears with grace, beauty and a steadfast resolve?

I’ve written about facing my own fears before. My words for this year are BRAVE and FIERCE because I know that I have to be Fiercely Brave each day in order to become the woman I want to be. I’m working to be the woman of my dreams and help others grow into the women of their dreams. I face each new challenge and opportunity with the confidence that my future self will be proud and thankful for the work.

Facing Mission Peak with Ingrid was a step closer to my goals but also a step into the unknown. I did not know Ingrid was afraid of heights until we faced a steep, narrow set of stairs in an alley in Savannah. We were following the GPS to dinner and didn’t see any other option but to go down those stairs. She confidently told me what was going on, asked me to go slowly in front of her and we moved down the stairs towards our much anticipated pre-race dinner. Once on the bottom, we discovered that there was a safer option half a block down but what greatness did she chip away at just a little more by facing that fear? There’s something to be said about what we accomplish when we don’t think we have any other options.

Arriving at Mission Peak, we had one goal; support our friend as she conquered as little or as much of the hill as she chose to conquer. I’ve hiked Mission Peak only one time before. I remember that there were really steep portions, including traversing rocks at the very top. I also knew that while we would be climbing over 2,000 feet of elevation, I didn’t remember being near any steep cliffs that would cause frightening views. My hope was that the uphill climb would be more physical than mental for my friend and that the confidence she gained in the reaffirmation of her strength and training, would help calm her nerves when we turned around to make the descent to the bottom. Going down, you can’t help but look down, right? But going up, we kept trying to remind her to NOT look down. “Keep your eyes focused ahead and take it one step at a time.”

The incline was tough and maybe that was a blessing. When you’re focusing on the pain and the work, the fear doesn’t have a lot of space to take over. As I focused on my own work and remembered that I definitely needed more trail work in my training plan, I was also honored to be with Ingrid in each moment. We tried to give her space to enjoy the hike and tell us what she needed. When you’re struggling, it does not help to have people constantly asking ‘how are you” and we all know that. Instead we pushed on, took breaks when they were needed and gave Ingrid the space to feel what she needed to feel and express only what she wanted to express. The emotions that she felt are not mine to share but the fact that she was brave enough to face those emotions with witnesses was amazing to me. At any moment, she could have broken down. She could have been overwhelmed by the fear and unable to move forward. She would be facing that with witnesses and how would that exacerbate the pain? It takes a lot of strength to be that brave, in my opinion. 

As I’m finishing this post, Ingrid is celebrating finishing her bucket list hike in Hawaii. This is what Mission Peak was designed to prepare her for. As her friends, we knew that each step she took with confidence was getting her one step closer to a beautiful trail, stunning views and a sense of accomplishment that can’t be purchased in a bottle. As I look at her pictures, my heart is filled with so much joy (and just a hint of jealousy). To know that she is in one of her favorite places in the world and celebrating her upcoming birthday by conquering such a huge fear, is priceless. Happy Birthday, my friend. YOU DID IT!!

As her friend, I kept wondering if I was ever truly that brave. I’ve shared a lot of my fears with friends- after the fact. When I am facing a huge dilemma or taking on a brave new task like my 80/20 Endurance Certification or Coaches of Color Initiative Apprenticeship application, I generally keep the circle very small. I’ve experienced too many Negative Nancys in my day and know how easily I can be talked out of things. I want to believe that Ingrid’s bravery will spill over on to me a little more. I am facing big goals in building my business and working to be the woman I need to be to support our community to my heart’s desire. I know that I cannot achieve all that I desire if I only work at it alone. I have to fiercely build the community around me that will support my goals, help connect us to the right people and fan the flames of courage and growth. I will remind myself each day that one step at a time, with my eyes focused forward is the best way to go. We will get to the top of this hill too.