Positive Results by Sabrina

I wonder if Negative Nancy is the way that she is, because she too has been told “No” too many times. She’s negative because she doesn’t know what we can achieve when we are supported by the right people. She’s negative because she’s trying to protect us, keep us safe from failure, rejections and the isolation that comes when no one else believes in your dream and therefore the village shuns us.

If she grew up with a supportive community, parents who always backed her desires and dreams, the tools to live out her biggest desires and build her own ark, would she instead be our biggest cheerleader and supporter? Could she be the bridge builder that helps you find the resources that you need to move forward with your dream? Could she be an asset, investor and partner?

I’m realizing that so many of us have lives that could have been vastly different had we had slightly different opportunities and communities ‘back then.’ So many of us could be completely different women if we’d had that one supportive person in our lives that showed us the way to the yellow brick road rather than sicking the flying monkeys on us. While most of us are content with who we are today, knowing that the tough roads brought us here, there’s no shame in wondering how things could have been a little different, if only…  

Women who have survived various types of abuse and neglect. Women who have been taken advantage of by family and friends only to be kicked aside when they weren’t needed any longer. Women who had to build their lives from scratch again and again, because the world is cruel and the opportunities weren’t there. Women who had doors closed in their face again and again, despite having more talent and ability than anyone could ever define with a degree. Women who gave their all to building someone else’s dream only to be left with the crumbs of crumbs for their own dreams. On and On. Again and Again. 

These women did not ask to have these obstacles continually placed in front of them. They did not ask to have their hearts shrunk and hardened. They are left with the house of straw that remains and that clouds their vision moving forward. Maybe this is where their negativity and trepidation live. When they hear your dreams and goals, they can’t support you because they don’t know how. Their survival instinct instructs them to warn you away from danger, pull you back from what they see as the edge of the cliff because their trauma will not allow them to see the field of flowers one foot down. 

As we evolve and work for more, these women anger us, breaking our hearts and stomping out some of our fire. But it’s possible that what they need is exactly what so many of us are working for each day. As we work to heal the wounds felt by our inner child, embrace our trauma and move forward with the strength and awareness that we now have, might it be possible to invite the Negative Nancy’s along for the journey? Might we forgive her for the fear she has shared with us and embrace her traumatized past? It’s possible that she won’t have or accept the opportunity to face her demons and heal. It’s possible that she’ll have the opportunity and choose not to take it. That is not our burden to carry. For us to grow and keep moving forward, all we can do is thank her for the caution she may have brought to the situation. Thank her for reminding us to look before we leap. Thank her for reminding us that everyone doesn’t get the opportunity to chase their dreams and build a life beyond the limitations of our past. With those reminders, knowledge and that faith, we can move forward, filled with the hope of possibility. We can search for the light and invite others to join us along our new path filled with support, encouragement, knowledge and the power of community.