Positive Results by Sabrina

My word for 2025 is BRAVE.

And I started 2025 proving that I wanted to be BRAVE, braver than I’ve been in a while. I showed up for an 8 am workout on New Year’s Day. I didn’t drink a drop on NYE but we still stayed up past midnight and we share our bed with a toddler half of the night, so I was still exhausted when the alarm went off. 

Even before the warm up laps, Coach B started challenging me. He announced to the group, and subsequently me, that I would be leading the dynamic warm-ups. My own joints were not awake yet and I admit that what I consider a proper warm up for my 12-14 min/mile pace is not what is always adequate for the speedier runners. Not to mention, I had no idea what the workout was going to entail so how do I know exactly what to warm up? No matter, I started leading us all through my standard warm up plus some January Goal discussion by asking each athlete to call out their names and a small goal that they were committing to for the month.

Then Coach B announced the plans for the track portion of our workout and sent us on our ways. While everyone else was told to run a conversational 800 m, I was met with a Challenge to PUSH for the last 100 m. This was even before the 3 – 2 – 1 workout that we knew was coming. When we started the 3 minutes, I realized I was letting the pull of the faster runners get to me. I knew I better show down or there was no way I was going to be able to increase my speed for the upcoming 2 minutes or sprint for the last 1. Coach B continued to call out the 30, 15 and 5 second conclusions of each interval, so luckily I did not need to look down at my watch. I remember glancing at the glowing watch face during the 2 minute interval just to confirm that the speed that felt faster, actually WAS faster. There was no way for me to look at my speed in the final minute. I was focused on breathing and pushing. (I never actually look at my splits at all until after the full workout.)

When we headed out for the longer section of the run, I had hoped to fall back to the back-of-the-pack, a position that I’m familiar with, and enjoy a gentle workout. We did not know that Coach B put on his spicy pants that morning and was determined to make us WORK. When he told the runners to fall into line and asked Coach Irina if she could tell us what was coming up, my heart dropped. She uttered the word ‘centipede’ and I wished I had remained on the track with the run/walkers rather than agreeing to challenge myself on the trails that morning.

Centipede workouts are not fun for slower runners for so many reasons. Although I don’t remember ever having really participated in the workout in the past, I’ve heard so many embarrassing stories and I’ve dreaded having to experience it myself. I can admit that it is probably one of the reasons I’ve resisted group workouts over the years. It’s one thing to challenge yourself privately, it’s another to do it publicly with every other runner in the group literally watching you and waiting for you. The list of things that could go wrong played through my head like a movie on an HD tv and it wasn’t kind.

As a Coach, I want to say I fell into line confidently and knew that I would survive the challenge. As a Human, regularly faced with anxiety and very loud fears, I will admit that I did no such thing. I fell into line and as the group started running, I felt the fear bubbling in my stomach and my heart rate rising with every foot fall. Coach B reminded us to communicate as the first runner took off. I could hear Coach Irina telling the faster runners in the front to slow down but they did not seem to listen, the gap between her and the next runner growing steadily larger. When it was my turn to run from the back to the front, I got tunnel vision. I honestly wish I had pushed the lap button on my watch so that I had documentation. I could hear the runners cheering me along. I saw the hands out stretched to give me low 5’s as I passed but I was so nervous that I would have to ask the runners to slow down in order to make it to the front, that I couldn’t focus. I remember when the words “I’m coming” came out of my mouth. I hadn’t intended to speak them out loud. My inner monologue literally escaped because it was getting too crowded in there. But I made it to the front of the line and I consciously chose to slow us down. I needed to catch my breath and if we were going to do this again, I needed to save some fuel in the tank. 

Bravery would continue to be my theme as we tackled the mud, incline and beauty of the trail through Santa Teresa Park. Lucky for me, I had three coaches and friends with their eyes on me. They kept me company, kept encouraging me and kept their voices louder than the voices of doubt in my head. Unfortunately, Coach B, in his spicy pants, kept challenging me for the entire run. When we hit the street to head back to the start, I naively thought we were going to be headed for our cool down. I did not realize that he would continue to encourage us to push, that at one point he would make me the rabbit, telling me not to let everyone catch me and would run at my side until the very end.

The videos taken by Coach B and Irina, seen on IG, show my determination, bravery and strength. I pushed until the last moment and truly showed up for myself. I fought with the voices in my head the entire time and I won. I conquered the workout to the best of my ability and set the tone for how I wanted to start the year. As a Coach, Mother and Friend, I often remind athletes to show up for themselves, to the best of THEIR abilities and to not compare themselves to others. I am proud to have taken my own advice on January 1, 2025. No one knows what it’s like to be in your body or in your head. Keep showing up, be BRAVE and surprise yourself!