Positive Results by Sabrina

I’m blessed to have a great network of mentors and coaches. This means that I’m regularly reminded to take care of myself, while I’m trying to take care of everyone else, but that doesn’t always mean that I do it. We’re all a work in progress right?

I’ve been a mother for almost three decades, so my default setting is definitely caregiving. My mind is always scanning for who needs my attention, what needs my attention or in the small brief moments when no one needs me, what’s coming next. 

A few weeks ago I had one of those rare moments when no one needed me. The baby fell asleep beside me on the couch much earlier than I expected. She’s at the age where she’s outgrowing her naps which all of the parents know is a blessing and a curse. It means I’m not stopping in the middle of my work to put her to sleep during the day but it makes the evenings unpredictable. Sometimes she’s falling asleep on the road to run group. Sometimes she’s dancing through dinner and then passes out right after her bath. 

On this evening, I finished working and closed my laptop so that I could carry her to bed. Once I put her down, I was left with that rare feeling of “well what do I do now?” I had already started my evening mint tea to boil so I was winding down but I wasn’t ready to lay down. So what do I do? Do I open the laptop back up and study? Do I clean up? I looked around and saw the mandala coloring book I dug out a few months ago to color with the baby. I put on a romcom and found the page I started coloring. It was a reminder to practice what I preach. I allowed my body to relax into the moment. I was able to enjoy my tea while it was still warm. I watched the movie and finished coloring my page. When I finished the page, I turned my body sideways on the couch and stretched out to finish the movie. I can’t tell you if I slept better that night, I forgot to pay attention, but I can tell you that my mind felt better and the pride sets off a positive cycle to rinse and repeat.

I don’t know about you, but when I clean and cook dinner, I like to have something playing. Usually I’m listening to a podcast or audiobook. Since I don’t commute for work anymore, I feel like I’m always behind on the podcasts that I used to listen to. So cleaning and working out are my favorite times to catch up. The other night though, my mind was racing and a podcast wasn’t what my soul needed. I needed some nervous system regulation again and I chose to play music instead. Me singing in the kitchen attracted my little one to join me in the kitchen for a spontaneous dance party. The giggles, the joy on her face, the lesson in dance moves, rhythm and fun are priceless. I consciously had to remind myself to take it in and cherish the moment because every parent knows that these random moments can’t be duplicated.

There is always time to learn and grow but I know that my time with my children is limited. I can remember when my oldest daughter was this little and it feels like yesterday. I pray that I keep leaning into these moments to make memories with my kids. I know that I am blessed to work from home. I cherish the flexibility I have always tried to create around my children. I’ve survived the judgement for decades of people who thought I was insane for prioritizing my kids over my career and income. I don’t regret one field trip, school volunteer shift or trip to the park. My family is my why. Without them, I doubt I would have had the motivation to work as hard as I have for the last 20 years. 

So take this as your reminder to look at your priorities. What did you prioritize this week? Did you prioritize your values or did you let someone else’s priorities take over your life?